Sneezy and Wheezy


Christopher Robin
Had wheezles
And sneezles,
They bundled him
Into His bed.
They gave him what goes
With a cold in the nose,
And some more for a cold
In the head.
They wondered
If wheezles
Could turn
Into measles,
If sneezles
Would turn
Into mumps;
They examined his chest
For a rash,
And the rest
Of his body for swellings and lumps.
They sent for some doctors
In sneezles
And wheezles
To tell them what ought
To be done.
All sorts and conditions
Of famous physicians
Came hurrying round
At a run.
They all made a note
Of the state of his throat,
They asked if he suffered from thirst;
They asked if the sneezles
Came after the wheezles,
Or if the first sneezle
Came first.
They said,
"If you teazle
A sneezle
Or wheezle,
A measle
May easily grow.
But humour or pleazle
The wheezle
Or sneezle,
The measle
Will certainly go.
"They expounded the reazles
For sneezles
And wheezles,
The manner of measles
When new.
They said
"If he freezles
In draughts and in breezles,
May even ensue."

Christopher Robin
Got up in the morning,
The sneezles had vanished away.
And the look in his eye
Seemed to say to the sky,
"Now, how to amuse them to-day?"

- A.A. Milne, Now We Are Six

Like poor little Christopher Robin I am beset with aches and pains, sneezles and wheezles. I have been in bed most of the weekend. Right now I feel a little better and hope to be well enough for work tomorrow. I need to save my sick days in case the children get sick and I have to stay home with them.

Meanwhile, I'm trying not to breathe on or kiss anyone; this is a more difficult task than it may seem!

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